Wednesday, November 20, 2013


My best conversation sometimes are during my shower.

This morning was no exception.

I didn’t start out homeschooling to protect my kids.

But eventually that is what I became.

And while I would minister to other kids that were not Christians

Or that lived in a way that I personally didn’t approve of.

I stil loved them, but I controlled each and every meeting or exposure with my children.

Rather than empower my children to deny that lifestyle they began to secretly think it was more cool because they never chose to not participate. I always chose FOR them.

And for the first time today I could see that clearly.

It was a hard look.

A reflection I didn’t really ever want to see.

I have cried more tears since this year as I have realized I am not equipped to raise any children. My heart still bears the scars for the day my daughter moved out. It changed how I saw myself as a mom. Forever.
And I still have 6 more children to raise.
so. I need to get it together & realize Jesus holds them.
That its my job to raise them to fall in love with Jesus but I can't do it for them
my goal is simple.
or is it?
But without letting them be exposed to the elements (so to speak) I have literally put them in a bubble
it's time....stepping out in faith...
I want my kids to choose to go to church. to read their Bible. to have Christian friends.
But I also want them to impact the world.
I want my kids to choose to love Christian music and films and yet be relational. I want them to share the music and movies they care about with unbelievers and for those people to be receptive. But to that they do need to know what's out in the world.
I want them to be honest with me. Be unafraid to communicate with me about what they are exposed to. Know at the end of the day I love them no matter what.
Loving Jesus is a choice .
Choosing to chase after HIM is also a choice.
I want them to chase the SON with all of their hearts for all of their life and affect everyone they meet in a way that is so contagious people can't help but want it too



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